She changed the password to the bank account that she uses. All the money in it is from her income but it is a joint account. She does not want me to look at the account.
The account that is supposed to be for our monthly bills gets messed up because she keeps using it for other things like ordering resturant food, getting her nails done, other personal items. It gets over drawn and important bills like car insurance gets paid late. I avoid an argument, I have not said anything yet. We have argued over this before and her answer is "GET OUT!"
I doubt that I can afford to move out right now. The desire for sex with her is gone, partly from this stress over money. Her use of banking accounts has caused two banks to close the checking accounts. One was closed only because the bank learned of the other one being closed for being over drawn for over a month. I know I should have cut my losses and ended the relationship about 3 months after we met. This problem has gone on for years.
Perhaps I should get a second job and save up to get out, We have no children, than God.
Jesse, I am a recovering addict and I hid finances from my husband as well. Of course I wasn't sending the funds to any ex. My addiction was my lover. And even though you are selfish when you are an addict, I always felt sick at the thought of cheating on my husband.
If you haven't done so already..YOU NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR FINANCES!. Luckily, my husband took over before I completely destroyed my family. He let it go for so long however because he was afraid to solve the problem. (And he is an M.D.-so he knew better) I changed passwords, etc. If you need guidance as what to check for, let me know. I was pretty intricate with my deception, and can give you a few clues to look for.
Remember, you have the right to find out what is going on!
If you have done so I congratulate you. That was a very brave step.
I wish you the best of luck.
Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity
Jesse Blue's Comments
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The account that is supposed to be for our monthly bills gets messed up because she keeps using it for other things like ordering resturant food, getting her nails done, other personal items. It gets over drawn and important bills like car insurance gets paid late. I avoid an argument, I have not said anything yet. We have argued over this before and her answer is "GET OUT!"
I doubt that I can afford to move out right now. The desire for sex with her is gone, partly from this stress over money. Her use of banking accounts has caused two banks to close the checking accounts. One was closed only because the bank learned of the other one being closed for being over drawn for over a month. I know I should have cut my losses and ended the relationship about 3 months after we met. This problem has gone on for years.
Perhaps I should get a second job and save up to get out, We have no children, than God.
If you haven't done so already..YOU NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR FINANCES!. Luckily, my husband took over before I completely destroyed my family. He let it go for so long however because he was afraid to solve the problem. (And he is an M.D.-so he knew better) I changed passwords, etc. If you need guidance as what to check for, let me know. I was pretty intricate with my deception, and can give you a few clues to look for.
Remember, you have the right to find out what is going on!
If you have done so I congratulate you. That was a very brave step.
I wish you the best of luck.
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