Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity
Tonight I Speak
I am The Survivor
Tonight I will stand before a crowd of people and announce that I am a Survivor. It is a fact that I want the whole world to hear.
Wearing my signature bandanna, red white and blue, I will appear too many as a rough and scary looking man. As I sit before the audience, waiting for the speaking to begin, opinions will start to form as to who I am. Some will see a druggie, a fighter, or a loser from the streets. Others will think I am edgy, shady, or perhaps even a thief. Few if any will actually see me, at least they will be misjudging until I speak.
I have experienced this sort of thing for as long as I can remember. I often wonder if my past has molded my face and my appearance. I wear my look proudly as it is a reflection of where I have been. The fighting, the struggles, the pain, the drugs, the stealing, lying, cheating, and once troubled me, are my badge before my soul.
With silence across the room, I will stand up to speak. In an enthusiastic voice, I tell the audience about some of the most horrific abuse they can possibly imagine, and I do it with a smile. Experience has taught me that there will be tears in the room, as they feel the sadness of an innocent young boy crying out for love and understanding. They will walk with me into that room and watch as I am beaten; left swollen and bruised.
My words will echo the room as I tell of how others sexually abused me. I will gaze out to see some people cringe, and I will know they are holding in a secret of their own, and realizing for the first time that they are not alone. Still. I smile, as I reflect upon the past.
I am midway through my speech, when I stop to ask a question. How many here today believe it is possible to have a good day every day? Statistically, the response is always the same. Roughly, 1 out of every 25 will raise their hand. Then I ask the question...how many believe it is possible to have a good day, all day, every day? I am lucky if I see one hand rise.
This is where I offer hope and where my true beauty lies. I am able to say, that I believe! I believe because I have not had a bad day in over two years. In fact, I can count the bad moments on one hand. The world has not changed around me, and it is full with trying times, situations, and even death; however, my view of the world has changed. The way I choose to act, interact, and react, has allowed me live a happy and healthy life. I am Glenn James, and I would not trade one day of suffering for all the riches on earth. My struggles have made me the man I am today, and I now love me.
Tonight I will stand before a crowd of people and announce that I am a Survivor. It is a fact that I want the whole world to hear.
Wearing my signature bandanna, red white and blue, I will appear too many as a rough and scary looking man. As I sit before the audience, waiting for the speaking to begin, opinions will start to form as to who I am. Some will see a druggie, a fighter, or a loser from the streets. Others will think I am edgy, shady, or perhaps even a thief. Few if any will actually see me, at least they will be misjudging until I speak.
I have experienced this sort of thing for as long as I can remember. I often wonder if my past has molded my face and my appearance. I wear my look proudly as it is a reflection of where I have been. The fighting, the struggles, the pain, the drugs, the stealing, lying, cheating, and once troubled me, are my badge before my soul.
With silence across the room, I will stand up to speak. In an enthusiastic voice, I tell the audience about some of the most horrific abuse they can possibly imagine, and I do it with a smile. Experience has taught me that there will be tears in the room, as they feel the sadness of an innocent young boy crying out for love and understanding. They will walk with me into that room and watch as I am beaten; left swollen and bruised.
My words will echo the room as I tell of how others sexually abused me. I will gaze out to see some people cringe, and I will know they are holding in a secret of their own, and realizing for the first time that they are not alone. Still. I smile, as I reflect upon the past.
I am midway through my speech, when I stop to ask a question. How many here today believe it is possible to have a good day every day? Statistically, the response is always the same. Roughly, 1 out of every 25 will raise their hand. Then I ask the question...how many believe it is possible to have a good day, all day, every day? I am lucky if I see one hand rise.
This is where I offer hope and where my true beauty lies. I am able to say, that I believe! I believe because I have not had a bad day in over two years. In fact, I can count the bad moments on one hand. The world has not changed around me, and it is full with trying times, situations, and even death; however, my view of the world has changed. The way I choose to act, interact, and react, has allowed me live a happy and healthy life. I am Glenn James, and I would not trade one day of suffering for all the riches on earth. My struggles have made me the man I am today, and I now love me.
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