Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity
7. Acting and Reacting
We live in a world of conflict. We perceive it as coming from other people, but much of our conflict originates in our own minds. It may seem that others are against us, but it's usually coming from within ourselves.
We have already determined that our thoughts come first and then our actions follow, but if we can get a pattern of actions going, they can sometimes influence our thoughts.
One of the very first things our program teaches us is not to react to everything. That's about choosing not to he threatened.
You don't have to react to everything that comes your way and looks like it might be a threat. We learn to practice this way of acting---especially important for people living with somebody who is still using.
If you practice not reacting, your life becomes more orderly. You don't even have to understand it at first. You just have to practice. This works with raising children; it works with the people you work with. You know, everything that gets to be a big deal gets that way because somebody involved overreacts. Lots of times, people want you to jump in emotionally and get embroiled with them.
We are often fearful in a situation that if we don't do something to "fix it" right now, it won't be fixed. But sometimes nothing is the best thing that we can do. Sometimes we need to do something right now; sometimes we need to think it over.
We are looking for a balance, and it will come from practice using these tools. Once we start getting well. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.
We have already determined that our thoughts come first and then our actions follow, but if we can get a pattern of actions going, they can sometimes influence our thoughts.
One of the very first things our program teaches us is not to react to everything. That's about choosing not to he threatened.
You don't have to react to everything that comes your way and looks like it might be a threat. We learn to practice this way of acting---especially important for people living with somebody who is still using.
If you practice not reacting, your life becomes more orderly. You don't even have to understand it at first. You just have to practice. This works with raising children; it works with the people you work with. You know, everything that gets to be a big deal gets that way because somebody involved overreacts. Lots of times, people want you to jump in emotionally and get embroiled with them.
We are often fearful in a situation that if we don't do something to "fix it" right now, it won't be fixed. But sometimes nothing is the best thing that we can do. Sometimes we need to do something right now; sometimes we need to think it over.
We are looking for a balance, and it will come from practice using these tools. Once we start getting well. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.
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Comment by Whitni Grover Reed on November 13, 2009 at 9:23pm - I'm so glad I took time to read your post, it has brightened my evening and reminded me of that key component in the first of the 12 steps...sometimes we are powerless to change any given event and must seek a higher power, be it spiritually, your mind set...or humbling yourself to get through the test. Thank you for the wisdom.
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Comment by SHAUN SMITH on November 3, 2009 at 9:29pm -
I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT.JUST FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE MRSA TO GO ALONG WITH WHAT I ALREADY HAVE;DIABETES,NEUROTHERAPY,EPILESY,DEPRESSION,ESSENTIAL TREMORS AND PANIC DISORDER.I CANNOT GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED IN MY PROBLEMS
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