7. Humility

[Bruce M.]

Many people believe that humility is the opposite of pride, when, in fact, it is a point of equilibrium. The opposite of pride is actual a lack of self-esteem. A humble person is totally different from a person who cannot recognize and appreciate himself as part of this worlds marvels.–Rabino Nilton Bonder

Defined as:…
: the quality or state of being humble…


“Oh lord it’s hard to be humble.”… In my previous entry I talked about getting down on my hands and knees to push the pen. In many ways it was a humiliating experience. Many feelings came up during that time, anger, confusion, pride, ego, desperation, with the end result being freedom, relief, and awakening. Humiliation I have found is often being put in my place with challenge, accountability, and many times against what my head wants to do. Now humility is something totally different. Humility is knowing my place. Where do I fit? Humility put me on level playing ground with everyone else. I was not less than, nor better than. It taught me the difference between my quest for significance verses my self ambitions. In my search for meaning and significance I could not be confused with my personal ambitions for worldly success. Meaningful fulfillment can be achieved only through knowing who I am and becoming what I am meant to be. A clear sense of identity could not be found from external circumstances. It could only be built on a new foundation of core values and beliefs, which defined my true self. Similarly, a clear sense of purpose could not be found from my trappings of success. What I do, does not define who I truely am. It could only be based on a deep conviction of my calling and mission in life. As well, my need for significance could not be confused with pride. Significance refers to my sense of self-worth and self-esteem. The belief that we may be created in a perfect image provides a firm basis for personal significance. To love and to be loved are also key ingredients of my personal significance, which came from a variety of sources. Humility comes naturally for me with a spiritual perspective, because meaning fulfillment is primarily a gift, which comes from serving others and my true self. Although pride appears to be close to personal significance, it is very different for me. Pride is egotistic and destructive, and seems always contrary to my true purpose. Pride feeds on elevating me over all others. Eventually, pride leads me to isolation and self-destruction, the natural consequence of overstepping boundaries and stepping on others in order to get ahead. When pride is disguised as a quest for personal significance, it takes me further and further away from my path. That is why failure can be a blessing in disguise. I often say I have failed my way into being a success today. It makes me pause and reflect on what really matters in life.

Love and Respect, Bruce M.

[srfranci]

Humility is often misinterpreted as humiliation and the two words are worlds apart. Humility is the realization that we ALL have strengths and weaknesses, and that our embracing or accepting these traits is critical to success and contentment.

C.S. Lewis said the following about pride:

The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. Two of a trade never agree. Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive-is competitive by its very nature-while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.

What humility is not
In their quest to be humble, people often confuse humility with false modesty. I think we’ve all been guilty of this at one time or another. When we are recognized for a great accomplishment, we act as though what we did really wasn’t that important or that big of a deal. For example, we spend many hours meticulously putting together an excellent presentation for work, and when people praise us we say, “Oh, it was just something I threw together.” We have a tendency to devalue what we’ve done under the pretense of humility. In fact, people often take on the guise of false humility for the sake of receiving more praise and adulation from others. You want people to think “Wow, he said he just threw that together! Imagine what he could do if he had spent hours on it.” When you do something well, don’t toot your own horn excessively, but truthfully acknowledge what you accomplished.
great Blog Bruce. You're an inspiration!

[Janine]

I have failed my way into being a success --- I love that!!! I have not heard that before. Somewhat new to this though. Great blog Bruce. I really enjoy reading this website. Very interesting.