Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity
25. Acceptance
Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself - your strengths and your limitations - in contrast to depending on affirmation from others.--Judith Bardwick
defined as:
1: an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound
2: the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable
3: the act of accepting : the fact of being accepted : approval
4 a: the act of accepting a time draft or bill of exchange for payment when due according to the specified terms b: an accepted draft or bill of exchange.
Acceptance means to me that I perceive reality accurately and consciously acknowledge what I perceive. This may sound simple and obvious, but in practice I have found it extremely difficult. I have chronic difficulties in addiction, particular in the area of my life where pain and pleasure are extreme. There’s a strong chance that the root of my problems is the failure to accept reality as it is. Self-discipline plays a big part in practicing the principle of acceptance. The most basic mistake I make with respect to self-discipline is a failure to accurately perceive and accept my present situation. If I can accept my humanness the reality sets in. If I am going to succeed in life, the first step is for me to figure out what my limitations are, mentally and physically. How strong am I right now? What are my strengths. Until I figure out where I stand right now, I cannot adopt a sensible program of solutions to my problems. If I haven’t consciously acknowledged where I stand right now in terms of my level of self-discipline, it’s highly unlikely that I am going to improve at all in this area. So mentally and physically I do have my limitations, but spiritually I believe the “sky’s the limit”. So I do need help, support, and a power greater than my limitations. Imagine a would-be bodybuilder who has no idea how much weight he can lift and arbitrarily adopts a training routine. It’s virtually certain that the chosen weights will be either too heavy or too light. If the weights are too heavy, the trainee won’t be able to lift them at all and thus will experience no muscle growth. And if the weights are too light, the trainee will lift them easily but won’t build any muscle in doing so. If I want to increase my self-discipline, I must know where I stand right now. I need to ask myself how strong is my discipline at this moment? Which challenges are easy for me, and which are virtually impossible. Just as there are different muscle groups which you train with different exercises, there are different areas of self-discipline: disciplined sleep, disciplined diet, disciplined work habits, disciplined communication, etc. It takes different exercises to build discipline in each area. I try to identify an area where my discipline is weakest, assess where I stand right now, acknowledge and accept my starting point, and practice my program of recovery. I start out with some of my easy to accept limitations to get into a habit of conscience acceptance, and gradually progress to greater challenges. Without acceptance I get either ignorance or denial. With ignorance I simply don’t know how disciplined I am, and probably never even thought about it. I just don’t know that I don’t know. When I’m in a state of denial about my level of discipline, I get locked into a false view of reality. I’m either overly pessimistic or optimistic about my capabilities. Today through practice I can achieve the “serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to change the things I can”. Acceptance truly is the key.
Love and Respect, Bruce M.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
defined as:
1: an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound
2: the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable
3: the act of accepting : the fact of being accepted : approval
4 a: the act of accepting a time draft or bill of exchange for payment when due according to the specified terms b: an accepted draft or bill of exchange.
Acceptance means to me that I perceive reality accurately and consciously acknowledge what I perceive. This may sound simple and obvious, but in practice I have found it extremely difficult. I have chronic difficulties in addiction, particular in the area of my life where pain and pleasure are extreme. There’s a strong chance that the root of my problems is the failure to accept reality as it is. Self-discipline plays a big part in practicing the principle of acceptance. The most basic mistake I make with respect to self-discipline is a failure to accurately perceive and accept my present situation. If I can accept my humanness the reality sets in. If I am going to succeed in life, the first step is for me to figure out what my limitations are, mentally and physically. How strong am I right now? What are my strengths. Until I figure out where I stand right now, I cannot adopt a sensible program of solutions to my problems. If I haven’t consciously acknowledged where I stand right now in terms of my level of self-discipline, it’s highly unlikely that I am going to improve at all in this area. So mentally and physically I do have my limitations, but spiritually I believe the “sky’s the limit”. So I do need help, support, and a power greater than my limitations. Imagine a would-be bodybuilder who has no idea how much weight he can lift and arbitrarily adopts a training routine. It’s virtually certain that the chosen weights will be either too heavy or too light. If the weights are too heavy, the trainee won’t be able to lift them at all and thus will experience no muscle growth. And if the weights are too light, the trainee will lift them easily but won’t build any muscle in doing so. If I want to increase my self-discipline, I must know where I stand right now. I need to ask myself how strong is my discipline at this moment? Which challenges are easy for me, and which are virtually impossible. Just as there are different muscle groups which you train with different exercises, there are different areas of self-discipline: disciplined sleep, disciplined diet, disciplined work habits, disciplined communication, etc. It takes different exercises to build discipline in each area. I try to identify an area where my discipline is weakest, assess where I stand right now, acknowledge and accept my starting point, and practice my program of recovery. I start out with some of my easy to accept limitations to get into a habit of conscience acceptance, and gradually progress to greater challenges. Without acceptance I get either ignorance or denial. With ignorance I simply don’t know how disciplined I am, and probably never even thought about it. I just don’t know that I don’t know. When I’m in a state of denial about my level of discipline, I get locked into a false view of reality. I’m either overly pessimistic or optimistic about my capabilities. Today through practice I can achieve the “serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to change the things I can”. Acceptance truly is the key.
Love and Respect, Bruce M.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comment
-
Comment by Linda Schiller-Hanna on July 3, 2009 at 8:15am
-
I really love this post. I have similar issues. Discipline is a chronic stumbling block for me (or I fail to
work with it appropriately). Thanks for the enlightenment about seeing the reality of the situation.
You rock!
Linda
About
Badge
© 2009 Created by ORS Staff on Ning. Create a Ning Network!
You need to be a member of Online Recovery Support to add comments!
Join this Ning Network